Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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