Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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