I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need water and some morals
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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