i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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