help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
