he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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