Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
