it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
