I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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