can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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