you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
