watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize