I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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