Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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