They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
