Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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