WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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