Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
