the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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