my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
