# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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