I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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