Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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