Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
