Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
