Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I enjoy the company of your penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
