Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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