id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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