haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
