So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Boobs are out for the taking
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
