respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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