Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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