with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize