I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
