You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
