His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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