Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
