You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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