Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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