Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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