So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
