So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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