this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
