Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
