I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
