the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize