3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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