Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize