its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She bit a glass in half.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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