i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
