i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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