it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize