Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
