I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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