Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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