Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
