playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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