i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
