trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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