You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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