I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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