he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
